i'll try to make this perfectly clear. (avantguardian) wrote,
i'll try to make this perfectly clear.

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validation for your existence anyone?

its getting harder and harder to stand this immobility. I need to do something. feel like im affecting the world in an additive way. I need to remove all the 'somes' 'stuffs' 'shits' and 'i dont knows' from my life. I need knowing and feeling and explinations that say more about me than the process im describing. No more things. Because things dont tell me anything at all. They're grey matter, glossing over what really matters. and what really matters? questions with no definte answers.

I could lie and say the most quasi-independent and self-motivated cliche and say "its a common misconception that not having a car means not having a life". But ive grown tired of my walls. stiffling stucco sedation inside and out.

it makes me want to cry when i think that the last time i cried was when i got soap in my eyes, but i cant. Tears always bow down to that tyrannical idol of apathy in subservient worship.

I give out validation 300 times a day at work. and free parking is all that people really care about. theres so much going on and so much im not part of and no one cares whats going on right here. and its depressing that that i feel like i need validation too.
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